Love Life with Cancer....your thoughts

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Love Life with Cancer....your thoughts

by jwjohn48 on Thu Sep 21, 2017 09:04 PM

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I'm a caregiver for my beautiful girlfriend of 11 years. She has stage 3 lung cancer and has been through chemo & radiation. We're waiting for a pet scan in late October to see how things are going. I would like anyone's thoughts or experiences regarding how you adjust or dealt with your significant others desire to have sexual relations after her treatment. I Love her very much but the need and want for the touch of a woman is driving me crazy. With the amount of medication she is taking I understand but this doesn't make the longing I have. I have tried to talk with her about it but never get very far with the topic. The thought of being unfaithful to her is driving me crazy. I know that I'm not the only person who has had to deal with this and just wanted to see if there were others who might let me know how they handle this. Torn in Texas

RE: Love Life with Cancer....your thoughts

by Wastingtime on Tue Sep 26, 2017 05:12 PM

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On Sep 21, 2017 9:04 PM jwjohn48 wrote:

I'm a caregiver for my beautiful girlfriend of 11 years. She has stage 3 lung cancer and has been through chemo & radiation. We're waiting for a pet scan in late October to see how things are going. I would like anyone's thoughts or experiences regarding how you adjust or dealt with your significant others desire to have sexual relations after her treatment. I Love her very much but the need and want for the touch of a woman is driving me crazy. With the amount of medication she is taking I understand but this doesn't make the longing I have. I have tried to talk with her about it but never get very far with the topic. The thought of being unfaithful to her is driving me crazy. I know that I'm not the only person who has had to deal with this and just wanted to see if there were others who might let me know how they handle this. Torn in Texas
Hi torn in Texas, well I am going on 9 years. Caregivers are the forgotton ones in this cancer stuff. When my husband was diagnosed I was no longer a wife, JUST a caregiver !!!! My needs and wants are put high up on a shelf where no one can see them or feel them but me. How old are you ? I do believe that can make a difference. Don't waste your life as I have especially if you are a young man . Best, Carolyn

RE: Love Life with Cancer....your thoughts

by nirdesai on Tue Oct 31, 2017 06:47 AM

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On Sep 21, 2017 9:04 PM jwjohn48 wrote:

I'm a caregiver for my beautiful girlfriend of 11 years. She has stage 3 lung cancer and has been through chemo & radiation. We're waiting for a pet scan in late October to see how things are going. I would like anyone's thoughts or experiences regarding how you adjust or dealt with your significant others desire to have sexual relations after her treatment. I Love her very much but the need and want for the touch of a woman is driving me crazy. With the amount of medication she is taking I understand but this doesn't make the longing I have. I have tried to talk with her about it but never get very far with the topic. The thought of being unfaithful to her is driving me crazy. I know that I'm not the only person who has had to deal with this and just wanted to see if there were others who might let me know how they handle this. Torn in Texas

I understand your situation. I am in the same situation since last few months with my wife having trouble. Moreover, I am from India and social structure is such that this desire is the last thing you can discuss with others. I can't provide much solution other than just empathize with you. in my case doctor says things will be better once chemo is over which is 2 months down. I am waiting for it. I hope you got your scan done and it is positive. All my prayers are with you. 

RE: Love Life with Cancer....your thoughts

by fischymom on Fri Dec 01, 2017 08:29 PM

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I am walking the same road as you, but because of the treatment of prostate cancer my hubby's desire is not going to improve. I love him deeply but I also need the touch and love you get in a relationionship/marriage. I would not be unfaithful but somedays the need is so great. I have to be the one who hugs and touches because that is just not a part of his life anymore.

Take one day at a time and blessing to you both.

RE: Love Life with Cancer....your thoughts

by jwjohn48 on Sat Dec 02, 2017 10:50 PM

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There were many days I felt this way! It’s very hard to do the right thing and keep from stepping out and get that human touch that you miss & want to feel. So many times it was like consuming my ever thought and that’s why I posted something on here. But to no avail I didn’t get any replies. I knew that I was not the only one w/these emotions & feelings! So how do you handle these emotions if you don’t mind me asking? It’s tough believe me Very Very tough!! James

RE: Love Life with Cancer....your thoughts

by Wastingtime on Sun Dec 03, 2017 12:16 AM

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James what is your age ? That does make a difference in this situation . I have been a caregiver almost a decade now !!!!! All of my fifties caregiving, sigh ,,,,, however being older and now a grandmother helps a lot . Thanks, Carolyn

RE: Love Life with Cancer....your thoughts

by jwjohn48 on Sun Dec 03, 2017 12:37 AM

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It really dosen't matter & I appoligive for even asking. I am 59 and I'm truly soory that you have been a care giver for so very long. I only had to do this for 8 months but I learned allot about us as well as myself. I have to grandkids as well and your right it gives you a break from the things going on to have them around from time to time.

James

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