Valentine's Day - how was it?

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Valentine's Day - how was it?

by eternalife on Thu Feb 22, 2018 04:38 PM

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Hi all,

I haven't posted on the site for a long time, however here I am. Last week was Valentine's and once again we are left to fend for ourselves.... after hearing and seeing all the commercial reminders. I hosted a group of Saturday night widows like myself. Three years ago, I formed the group and as it was my turn.. ( we do rotating dinners).. by the grave of God we continue.

What did you do? My group are all very different, have different interests, some like to travel , volunteer, belong to book clubs, play cards, ice skate and so on. We get together about every second month or so and talk and share and break bread. I can honestly say, it is a great grounder and keeps us on track.

On another note, not everyone has great health, one lady told us she was told she has stage 11 cervical cancer.. we were in awe... not really knowing what to say... She is a trooper and continues to work full time even at 66. She says it helps to not think about " what do I do next" . Her husband died of lung cancer some 9 years ago.

As we get older, going it alone is a concern for all of us.. I often think instead of putting money in retirement residences, why not band together, buy a big place and everyone live together.. like the commune days of the 60s.

Getting back to why I posted... how did you spend Valentine's and what floats your boat these days.. are you going it alone or having you found another.

All the best and keep posting

RE: Valentine's Day - how was it?

by Marie55 on Mon Feb 26, 2018 06:03 AM

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I also have not posted in awhile. It will be four years since my husband passed. Valentine's Day - one dear widow friend hosted a potluck dinner for singles and widows. We had a fun evening eating, playing games, enjoying our friendships. It sure beat sitting home alone this year. I have all the Valentine Day cards my husband gave me over the years so very special to re-read his sentiments. This is not an easy journey, but good, suuportive friendships ease the loneliness.

RE: Valentine's Day - how was it?

by StanToronto on Tue Feb 27, 2018 05:06 AM

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eternalife, it was a bit of a reminder as I saw al the flower ads in my grocery flyers, a reminder, but nothing like Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving where we have total family celebrations.

It has never been a big day for us, so I just ignored the day, one of those days when I don't hear from my family, because they are doing what they should be doing on that day. :-)  Notwishstanding, I have really been down the last couple of weeks, and after 2 years 8, perhaps that is part of it. :-(



RE: Valentine's Day - how was it?

by StanToronto on Tue Feb 27, 2018 05:21 AM

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Marie, I suppose Valentine's day is not one you tend to celebrate, but to commemorate. My wife died on the 11th, and I commemorate her passing the 11th day of each month.

RE: Valentine's Day - how was it?

by PunkyD on Tue Feb 27, 2018 12:29 PM

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Dear Eternalife, Marie and Stan,

How nice to hear from you after an absence.  I'm still hanging around here, not sure why. I'm glad to hear that you are putting one foot in front of the other, and that you are making an effort to be social. Everyone really just has to live one day at a time. I am not in your shoes, but I'm sure it's not easy. I'm ok, have had some caregiving ups and downs, but all in all, I can't complain. 

Wishing you all only good things. 

Punky

RE: Valentine's Day - how was it?

by StanToronto on Tue Feb 27, 2018 06:09 PM

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Punky,

The reason I hang around here, is that it is the only place where I feel normal, and am amongst those who understand. It cannot be explained to anyone who has not experienced the same thing. 

After almost three years after losing my wife, best friend and constant companion, my life is still a total mess. I just seem to hurt all the time. I am too old to adapt. Since then I have just huddled up in my home, and only go out briefly every couple of weeks to buy essentials. The technical term for my aversion to being around people is socio-phobia. I have a wonderful attentive loving family, but they don't come close to filling the hole that has been left in my life.  I can't tolerate being around people any more. Basically, I have lost my will to live. Coming here helps me to feel less alone and somewhat normal.

RE: Valentine's Day - how was it?

by StephenS on Wed Feb 28, 2018 09:23 PM

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First time back on in several months and its so nice to see all of my old friends still kicking and posting.  Valentine's Day was spent having sent my mother-in-law flowers, cause she has always been the best one I could ever have had, and having sent Valentine's cards to all eleven grandchildren. In just two more days I shall be posting my tribute to my wife on the 4th anniversary of her death. I sure hope all of you are doing better.

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