LEEP feeling really depressed about future

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LEEP feeling really depressed about future

by ALJ209 on Sat Feb 24, 2018 12:54 PM

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Hi, 

I am 31yr old, I had abnormal paps and was getting checked every 6 months. My doctor said I went from no detectable HPV and low grade dysplasia to positive for HPV 16 and high grade dysplasia in the last 6 months. I haven't had sex in the last year, so I think a latent virus came back. She said I have to come in ASAP for this LEEP procedure, which I was researching and now I'm terrified. 

I'm feeling really depressed, especially since my last boyfriend, who broke my heart after years and then turned around and got engaged to someone else before I was even over it. I've been depressed about being alone for life, and now I feel like being on my way to cervical cancer has solidified that I will be. I'm also very angry that all the men I've dated have left me, and now are living happy care-free lives full of love and now here I am with pre-cancer, alone. I am terrified of ever having sex with anyone new now. How will I know if they have HPV that could lead to this condition coming back? I feel like most people who have this proceedure are already in long term relationships and don't have to worry about this. I don't understand how I can date after this proceedure with the fear that its a 50/50 shot they will have HPV and that a condom doesn't protect against it efficiently. I will also have to tell every man about this condition. One time when I asked a man I was dating for a month if he knew if he had HPV, he freaked out and said he didn't want to get it from me, and looked at me like I was disgusting. I always wanted love and to have children, but I feel like it's been taken away from me. Has anyone dated after this procedure or after having a scare like this? 

RE: LEEP feeling really depressed about future

by Ami12 on Fri Mar 23, 2018 05:44 PM

Quote | Reply

On Feb 24, 2018 12:54 PM ALJ209 wrote:

Hi, 

I am 31yr old, I had abnormal paps and was getting checked every 6 months. My doctor said I went from no detectable HPV and low grade dysplasia to positive for HPV 16 and high grade dysplasia in the last 6 months. I haven't had sex in the last year, so I think a latent virus came back. She said I have to come in ASAP for this LEEP procedure, which I was researching and now I'm terrified. 

I'm feeling really depressed, especially since my last boyfriend, who broke my heart after years and then turned around and got engaged to someone else before I was even over it. I've been depressed about being alone for life, and now I feel like being on my way to cervical cancer has solidified that I will be. I'm also very angry that all the men I've dated have left me, and now are living happy care-free lives full of love and now here I am with pre-cancer, alone. I am terrified of ever having sex with anyone new now. How will I know if they have HPV that could lead to this condition coming back? I feel like most people who have this proceedure are already in long term relationships and don't have to worry about this. I don't understand how I can date after this proceedure with the fear that its a 50/50 shot they will have HPV and that a condom doesn't protect against it efficiently. I will also have to tell every man about this condition. One time when I asked a man I was dating for a month if he knew if he had HPV, he freaked out and said he didn't want to get it from me, and looked at me like I was disgusting. I always wanted love and to have children, but I feel like it's been taken away from me. Has anyone dated after this procedure or after having a scare like this? 

Hello, I just had my procedure this past Monday. I have iv sedation and it went well. I don’t remember anything. I’m still waiting to go in for my follow up. Have you had your leep yet? Try not to stress yourself out over the whole situation. My Dr explained to me that the procedure will get rid of the abnormal cells. The hpv could come and go. I had the same fear of making it worse by a new partner etc. I was also worried if that got back with my ex (who obviously has it also because we were together 9 years that I would get re infected) she assured me that as long as I get my procedure and do my follow up/paps as recommended it will be fine. I have high grade cin 3. You seem to have caught this early so you will be fine as long as you follow through and go to your appointments. I was taking it real hard at first also but I feel like a weight was lifted after getting the leep. Hope you are are feeling better about it!
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