the last days

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katrientys katrientys
(Inactive)

the last days

by katrientys on Sun Apr 15, 2018 08:26 AM

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My dad was diagnosed with GBM on 20/04/2014. After chemo and multiple surgeries his battleplan has expired. He is dying as we speak. 

His medication is dex, morfine and haldol for anxiety. He is bedridden and really depressed. Three days ago he developed a stridor. Making a high pitched sound when he breaths in. Has anyone experienced this with a loved one? 

Katrien

RE: the last days

by RodgerMac on Sun Apr 15, 2018 09:44 PM

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Yes my wife passed in December. I’m really surprised their still giving dex. I wish you and your family the best. Take care Rodger

katrientys katrientys
(Inactive)

RE: the last days

by katrientys on Mon Apr 16, 2018 01:48 PM

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Was the stridor something that gave her pain or made her uncomfortable? Is this something we should actively medicate for?

The dex is something he wants himself. He doesn't want to give up...

RE: the last days

by RodgerMac on Mon Apr 16, 2018 08:34 PM

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The morphine should calm down the stridor coughs. My wife only had trouble breathing the last few days, which is when I made decision to start hospice care. My wife only had hospice care less than 24 hrs. before she passed. I really should have started hospice earlier, she had been eating next to nothing, and drinking the minimum about a week before. We had home visited nursing care for a month + to help with baths, and to check her status. Hospice is a whole different thing.

katrientys katrientys
(Inactive)

RE: the last days

by katrientys on Mon Apr 16, 2018 08:44 PM

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My mum and dad have been in a tight marriage. They don't want him to go to a hospice, although I think it would be best. He eats a bit and drinks only small amounts at a time. 

Today my mum went 20 minutes to the shop and when shr came back, he was panicking so hard that he was violently shaking all over his body and he had trouble breathing. I told her that she can't leave him alone anymore.  Hospice would be so much easier.

RE: the last days

by RodgerMac on Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:13 PM

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Hospice is a very personal decision. We had hospice at home, but like I said it was only the last 24 hours. My wife and I were married 35 years. I feel heart broke for you and your parents.

RE: the last days

by ZippyBeta on Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:49 PM

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Hospice been given in the home, your Dr can order it.

katrientys katrientys
(Inactive)

RE: the last days

by katrientys on Tue Apr 17, 2018 09:16 AM

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Thank you very much, RodgerMac. I am very sorry for your loss. It is a terrible disease. Nobody should have to go through this.

RE: the last days

by Lesley88 on Thu Apr 19, 2018 11:42 PM

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At this stage I would only feed him if he wants it and he should be heavily sedated. Hospice in the home will allow your mother to go out as needed. Sedation will remove angst, worry and pain before passing. Consider  ceasing medications to prolong life which hard to swallow and ceasing any dressing changes which cause pain. All efforts now should be to sedate him to be calm and pain free. Expect him to get the "willies" where he sits up grasping the air or blankets. He will not be aware of what he is doing so don't be too stressed by this. Both my parents went through this agitation phase. My mother even tried to sit up with a broken shoulder and seemed oblivious to any pain,

I hope for an easy oassing for your father and your family.

RE: the last days

by rietenil on Mon May 14, 2018 07:03 AM

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On apr 16, 2018 11:13 RodgerMac wrote:

Hospice is a very personal decision. We had hospice at home, but like I said it was only the last 24 hours. My wife and I were married 35 years. I feel heart broke for you and your parents.

Thank you RogerMac for answering my daughter Katrien.  My husband died on the 20th of April.  He died in our own bed with me at his side. He explicitely had asked to be brought there despite the difficulties to get him there.  

However I regret not to have done what he asked: calling Katrien at 2 am.  She had nursed him the whole day and had left tired to go to her own house to be with her husband and four kids.

I didn't see what was happening.  He also didn't.  Seeing, we were blind.  It is only now I am consulting any information about this terrible disease. My husband and I never did.  It was the only possible way for us to live the rest of our life in a happy and positive way.

My husband only wanted to live and live and loved his family so very much. And he was loved by all of them.  On his last day our grandchildren came to bring him a concert of his favorite rock music on their electric guitars . He was so happy with that.

But I only now see the loneliness of our children of not being able to speak of the end with both of us.

My husband had hoped to make it at least till the first of May when we first met 50 years ago. He wanted to have a big party then.  Now we celebrated his life on that day.

I miss him so very much . I had the most happy life a human being could expect with him.  He was my everything: my love, my best friend, my partner in every sense.

I am very well surrounded by all our loved ones and I see him in every one of them.  But he is not here any more.

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