Shocked

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Shocked

by Vicchick on Fri May 25, 2018 02:55 PM

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Hello.  I'm hoping to get some support here, or comfort knowing (I) we are not the only one's going through something like this.  My MIL had a stroke a year ago and there had been a slow decline since.  My husband has a complicated relationship with his mom and we hadn't seen her in about 5 months when her friend called to express her concern - large amount of weight loss, falling all the time, sleeping alot.  So we picked her up MOnday and brought her to our house and we noticed a HUGE change in her.  Monday and Tuesday she fell several times, too weak to change clothes or go to the bathroom herself. incontenent, a little out of it etc. so we called an ambulence Wednesday night to take her to the hosptial.  Yesterday mornining we got the news that she has cancer, all over - stomach, liver, lymph nodes, lungs and they are testing brain this morning.  What a shock!  I am of course grieving but the hardest part is watching my husband go through it.  He does't really have much family and he feels like he will be all alone (except for me of course he said) when she passes.  He goes through periods of acceptance that she is not strong enough to do chemo and then periods of denial where he thinks she is going to fight this.  It's so sad.  Any advice on how to keep myself strong for him, and support him too?  Thanks.

RE: Shocked

by Mari0512 on Wed Jun 27, 2018 07:13 AM

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Hi Vicchick, I'm sorry to hear about your MIL's situation. Maybe I can provide some advice and support.

I'm a 17 year-old daughter who cares for her 48 year-old mother. My mother has been struggling with cancer since I was 12 and it comes back periodically. This time around she is really struggling a lot and the hardest part is that she might have a limited time to live.

I think the best advice for you and your husband is to really spend time with her, especially your husband since you mentioned that he doesn't have a good relationship with her, and to get as much information and options out of your doctors to see what is the best course of action to take regarding your MIL's cancer. Also, read as much information about cancer, regarding treatments, caregiving, or the medical aspect of cancer so you can be really informative and understanding. I hope you and your family will be okay. Just be strong and stay with your MIL, and in the worst possible case scenario, until the day she passes away.

Take care.

RE: Shocked

by mycancer4real on Mon Jul 30, 2018 11:46 PM

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Always keep your faith in God and prayer.  God will lead you and help you help him.  God is amazing.  Keep the faith through it all. Walking also helps and talking with your friends keeps you sane.  This is a dreadful disease that no one deserves.

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