Bile Duct Cancer Help

5 Posts | Page(s): 1 

Bile Duct Cancer Help

by islandman on Mon Jul 02, 2018 02:00 PM

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I was following another discussion on bile duct cancer the end symptoms but the dates wouldnt line up or something so I started another hoping to get more info.

So my wife was diagnosed in Nov 2017 with liver cancer. After tons of testing and no definite answer it was determined it started in her bile duct and then went to her liver. Doctors didnt give us a lot of hope but said chemo might help and at least relive the symtoms. Id seemed to keep it from growing but made her sick from the meds. At one point the dr had a revelation from some test and said it might be a ??? and may even be cureable so we tried the chemo for that. Well turns out it wasnt ?? but indeed was bile duct. Anyway here we are in July after several chemo treatments and she now refused more treatments because she knows there isnt a cure and belives chemo is a conspiracy for drs and hospitals and drug companies to all make money and after talking to many people and reading forever I believe she might actually be right.

Since we arent under dr care anymore we opted to sign up for Hospice. Its been a really tough road as I have been caring for her since the beginning. Fortunately my boss allowed me to work from home and stay with her. Its been tough emotionally as well. I love her with all my heart and plan to live by my words till death do us part. With that being said I am drained. She makes it hard every little thing she ask me to do when sometimes i think she could actually do and I think it would help her to keep moving but she says she dont have energy. I do it anyway because I can only imagine what she is going through. She is on the fentanyl patch (dosage gone up to 75 from 12) and oxycodone for pain. 

She gets sick (throws up) at random cant figure any pattern. She still talks well and can walk slowly. Some days when she gets sick I think its the end and so does she but then she gets better throughout the day. I dont know what to expect or how long she might have left. I feel so helpless.

We have little family and they are not near us. I want her only daughter and her brother to be here the last few days (while she still has her mind) but how will I know?

To top it all off I just lost my brother last week to cancer, will it ever end.

She refuses help from anyone best friends family etc. She will not let me leave her side except short trips to the grocery store. 

Help me get through this, whats next.

RE: Bile Duct Cancer Help

by Mari0512 on Tue Jul 03, 2018 10:15 PM

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Hi islandman, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. My mom is on hospice too and its not easy for me either. I'm actually 17 and since summer ended I've stayed at home the majority of the time and it drives me crazy sometimes.

Maybe you should talk to your wife about trying to get a nurse to come in and help you or try to find a support group. Its not easy being a solo caregiver and maybe try to let your wife know that, while its not easy for her, its not easy for you too.

Take care.

RE: Bile Duct Cancer Help

by islandman on Wed Jul 04, 2018 02:45 AM

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On Jul 03, 2018 10:15 PM Mari0512 wrote:

Hi islandman, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. My mom is on hospice too and its not easy for me either. I'm actually 17 and since summer ended I've stayed at home the majority of the time and it drives me crazy sometimes.

Maybe you should talk to your wife about trying to get a nurse to come in and help you or try to find a support group. Its not easy being a solo caregiver and maybe try to let your wife know that, while its not easy for her, its not easy for you too.

Take care.

Wow at 17 that has to be awful. I hope you have other family around for support. How far along is she what stage. Pretty sure  my wife is stage 4

RE: Bile Duct Cancer Help

by Mari0512 on Wed Jul 04, 2018 02:51 AM

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Hello,

I'm what stage actually, but from what my dad told me its pretty advanced. Maybe stage four since my moms cancer has spread.

RE: Bile Duct Cancer Help

by PunkyD on Thu Jul 05, 2018 08:09 AM

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Dear Mari and Islandman,

I feel for you both.  I was a caregiver too and lost loved ones (mother and father in law) to cancer so I can relate. All I can say is cherish each day, hang in there, take each day at a time, try to do enjoyable things with your loved ones (as they are able), like talking, singing, listening to music, sitting outside.......whatever. Don't lose hope.

Sending you both strength and positive vibes for your mom and wife, respectively. And Islandman, so sorry to hear that you lost your brother. That is a lot to deal with all at the same time. Go easy on yourself.

Punky

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