Caregivers

2 Posts | Page(s): 1 

Caregivers

by Margaret1943 on Tue Oct 02, 2018 05:26 PM

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Anybody ever wish you could die, cause you can't take it anymore.

RE: Caregivers

by Proxielocks on Tue Nov 06, 2018 05:39 PM

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On Oct 02, 2018 5:26 PM Margaret1943 wrote:

Anybody ever wish you could die, cause you can't take it anymore.

Your post has been a few years ago since you writtten it. I hope you are still living. As we all know as caregivers we feel the pain for our spouse/loved one whom is going through cancer. However, does other realize that we as their spouse/loved one goes through it right alone with them.OK ,  maynot not the side effects, not being able to talk, or eat. However, we go through the pain that their loved one is surffering. It has been since 2009 that my husband wa, s diagnosed with stage 4 head/neck cancer. Has it gotten better? No,it has only gotten WORSE. As for what UCSF told my husband two years ago is that it will never get any better. He said that it would only get worse. Well he was right because now 2 years later and it had gotten much worse. He all his teeth are dead they have broken off. There is nothing they can do about it because if they were to pull his teeth now he would most likely get an infection that would not heal and could even die from it. What pisses me off is that his Kaiser head/neck doctor should have told him to have his teeth pulled first BEFORE doing the Chem and Radiation because this is why he is the way he is now. If they had told him to get them pulled then he could have had dentures or implants. However, now it is to LATE FOR THAT. 

Nobody, knows what a spouse/caregiver goes through, uless they have gone through it with them. So DON'T say you understand unless you have been there. No-know how many days/nights that I have cried myself to sleep. NOBODY knows unless you have gone through it with your loved one. 

His liis life my life has changed. He was a healthy, active 7-9 miles a day runner. He ate healthy, and he loved to talk. All that was taken away from him. He cannot eat by mouth, he feed by a feeding tube, he cannot talk, he has a tablet that his work got him that he types what he wants to say and it talks for hime. He can't run because he does'nt have the engery like he did before. It has caiuse ANGER in him that he cannot control. It seems every little thing angers him. He loves him job and he can just go into his office and close the door. His work keeps him going because he loves what he does. As, for me I retired because I couldn't handle all the stress. It was way more than I can handle and had to seek help with it. Believe me CANCER can and will cause DEPRESSION in the patient and the caregiver. So if you feel that is where you are headed then please seek the help before it gets worse.

I am just happy that each day that I have with my husband will be another day that I have with him. May God Bless you all that are going through not just head/neck cancer but any kind of cancer. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY YOU CAN'T DO IT ALONE.

GOD BLESS YOU,

PATTY

2 Posts | Page(s): 1 
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