FIVE YEARS AND WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

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FIVE YEARS AND WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

by StephenS on Thu Feb 28, 2019 10:20 PM

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Hi friends and my extended family. Well on Saturday, March 2nd it will be five years ago that my world ended when my wife of forty four years passed away after a 14 month battle with pancreatic cancer. It was a struggle those first four years to make it through each day and each day seemed to be not worth living if it were not for God and my children all of whom showed me such love and caring that I woke another day hoping it would get better. God blessed me with the very very best with FOR ME that i could ever have asked for and we had the best life and when she battled cancer God was there to comfort her and care for her and to carry me through the worst time in my life. Then this past September, I dared to ask God to let me have some happiness in my life again and so he sent me Diana and although she is not Kathy, Kathy is not Diana either and I love her, Diana, as much as I love Kathy and although she will never replace Kathy she will bring the sunshine back into my life and she does love me and I love her and life has meaning once again.  And so I write you all to share my story of how God in his great love and mercy helps us to move on with life after losing the only one I could have ever wanted. I hope you find the same solace and happiness in your life. Stephen

 

RE: FIVE YEARS AND WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

by StephenS on Thu Feb 28, 2019 10:26 PM

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Correction:  "very very best with FOR ME" was suppose to be very very best wife FOR ME" Sorry for the error. Should proof better before sending 

RE: FIVE YEARS AND WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

by debz3j on Fri Apr 12, 2019 01:59 PM

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Stephen,

So glad to hear you're doing so well.  I am thanking God for your Diana too.  I haven't crossed that road yet in the almost nine years my Jimi has been gone BUT have a great guy in my life and feel this is the year.  Your post gives me hope that I can allow myself "happiness" again!  It just feels strange to have feelings like this again without the "guilt" that has stopped me all this time.

Debz

RE: FIVE YEARS AND WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

by PunkyD on Sun Apr 14, 2019 06:37 AM

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On Apr 12, 2019 1:59 PM debz3j wrote:

Stephen,

So glad to hear you're doing so well.  I am thanking God for your Diana too.  I haven't crossed that road yet in the almost nine years my Jimi has been gone BUT have a great guy in my life and feel this is the year.  Your post gives me hope that I can allow myself "happiness" again!  It just feels strange to have feelings like this again without the "guilt" that has stopped me all this time.

Debz

Dear Debz,

Good to hear from you. Glad to hear that you have a great guy in your life and that you are releasing the feeling of guilt. You are allowed to feel happy! I'm coming up on 6 years since my Mom passed away, and my Dad (80) has since remarried, and we are all so happy for him. 

I wish you only health and happiness. 

Punky

RE: FIVE YEARS AND WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

by eternalife on Sat May 25, 2019 06:29 PM

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While I haven't touched base here for some time, I just read your good news, Stephen... you have struggled with aloneness and the new path after the death of your wife. I can relate, it's been almost 6 years now, just had our 33rd anniversary pass, May 17th. I re joined a bereavement group and next week there is a class on art therapy.. I have been down this road for a while now and I continue to try to remain up beat, keeping busy teaching and playing cards, eating out with friends, ( only women unfortunately LOL) have created a widows group.. it somewhat reamains empty without my late husband. I am not interested in the dating game, unless he is a superman... ha ha... and we all come with baggage at this age... growing old alone stinks and I'm happy that you have met someone new... one day at a time for me... the winter was lousy weatherwise here lots of snow and now lots of rain.. this doesn't help matters. Looking forward to sunny days ahead.

Enjoy what life has to offer, live , love and laugh.

RE: FIVE YEARS AND WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

by StanToronto on Mon May 27, 2019 09:05 PM

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eternalife, it is always so wonderful to hear from you again.

While Stephen has chosen to travel a different path to ours, there certainly is certainly nothing inappropirate or immoral about his choice.

I am just approaching my 4th year, and life is hell!! And that's the way I expect it to be until I expire. 

I remember the day I asked "Will you marry me?"

And the day I said "I do."

And then there was the day my wife died, and a couple days later, I found a note she had left for me:

"I Love you forever"

To which I again declared before God, "I do!!"

That is the only meaningful future I can envision for me, to be reunited with the love-of-my-life, the one God gave to me 50 years ago . . . forever!

RE: FIVE YEARS AND WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

by eternalife on Thu Jun 20, 2019 09:56 PM

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My goodness, Stan.. my husband said the same thing to me in our last Valentine's together.. he died 5 months later... Life is precious ... live every day.. remind others to love each other as it all can be gone in a flash.

Like Steven... we can find love again.. just let your light shine.

RE: FIVE YEARS AND WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

by StanToronto on Fri Jun 21, 2019 06:06 AM

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eternalife >> "Like Steven... we can find love again.. just let your light shine."

I am now in the 4th year. When you say, "we can find love 'again'", I have never 'lost' love!

I have enjoyed wonderful God-given life filled with love, and that has not changed. The committment I made to my God-given bride over 50 years ago has never changed. There was no termination or exiry clause in our vows. I am convinced in my spirit, that the one He gave me for all those years ago, was part of His **eternal** plan for us, and there is absolutley nothing I would ever do to mess with that plan, because I fully trust God, and the confidence He has instilled in my spirit, that my wife and I are part of His perfect eternal plan.

 I am content to respect that plan for the remainder of my earthly life, and will never do anything to do with any kind of compromise of that plan in any way! Even if I am wrong, I love her so much, that it is worthwhile waiting and staying true to her until we meet again. I am not going to take the slighest chance that I might mess up something God has planned. I am going to trust His plan!

I wouldn't have the slighest problem in finding a new wife. After my wife died, they were lining up trying to take me out to lunch, perhaps not because I am so wonderful, but possibly a mere target. Having a female in the house is so annoying, that I recently fired my housekeeper!

When is comes to finding love, with a family of children and grandchildren, I already have more love than most people experience in ten lifetimes. God has taken my beloved for an instant of time, but trusting Him, I embrace His plan in every way.  

RE: FIVE YEARS AND WHAT I HAVE LEARNED

by StanToronto on Wed Mar 04, 2020 02:13 PM

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StephenS,
Missed hearing from you this year. Your posts are always so inspirational.

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