Full of emotions

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Full of emotions

by Merry-jewel on Mon Apr 06, 2020 03:57 AM

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My boyfriend of 10 years was diagnosed with GBM stage 4 cancer a week before Christmas 2019. We were planning on finally getting engaged in January. Why did we wait so long? Because we always put our children first and wanted to wait until they were in a good place. He has three girls 29 and twins who are 23. I have three kids 28, 22 and 21. His twins moved back home with him after completing a masters program at OU. The cancer news was beyond devastating! That same week his exwife of 15 years, the girls mother, flew home from Arizona to visit for Christmas. She typically stays with the older daughter but after hearing the news, she stayed at my boyfriends condo with the twins. I was devastated on top of devastated but kept quite for my boyfriends and the girls sake. But, I’m not going to lie... I realized my boyfriend was dealing with a lot but I couldn’t understand how he allow this to happen?? I was able to take family leave from my job on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I could take him to treatments. One of the twin daughters was just subbing as a teacher so she had a lot of flexibility. She took him to treatments on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. I moved in with them because I wanted to be with their dad and I was concerned about them taking care of him alone. I was very careful of their feelings and made sure to ask permission. Boundaries are very important to me and I believed that is why I had such a good relationship with his daughters. Or so I thought... After treatment ended, their mother came back into town. They pretty much told me I should go home so they could spend time with their mother. She stayed at his condo again. I was devastated once again. My boyfriend, dealing with the after math of chemo and radiation was very confused and his speech and memory were very much affected by treatment. I’m not sure if he was aware of what was happening or he just chose not to say anything. At this point I’m angry, hurt, sad and confused. It was getting the best of me so I finally shared my feelings with his girls. It did not go very well. They said I had no right to be upset with them wanting their mom, that I overstayed my welcome and they want the schedule to be like it was with treatment Tuesdays and Thursdays) but without me staying there. So, now I just go to my boyfriends on Tuesdays and Thursdays at dinner time because he sleeps most of the day and not to mention -I don’t feel welcome anymore. I feel helpless??
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