Deep Depression

7 Posts | Page(s): 1 

Deep Depression

by Gbmfl on Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:00 AM

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Hi all, My father diagnosed in July with inoperable GBM 4 or butterly glimoa has become so depressed in the last days. He is still holding steady but has starting to sit around all day doing nothing and is very withdrawn. Yesterday he said he wanted to go back to Maine and die, that he hates it here in Florida. He so wanted to move here and has always spent every winter here, he found his tumor/got sick in the process of his year-round relocation here. I just can't handle him saying he wants to go die. I don't want him to give up and certainly not when he is doing so well. I'm not sure what I can do for him to feel differently. Today is my birthday and having grown up mostly alone with my dad we have always enjoyed b-days and holidays. So, I pretended to be all excited for my gifts this morning that he had sitting out for me. I opened them and told him how much I liked them but he still just sat there looking so sad. It really feels like the end when the things we once enjoyed the most slip away. We have called my uncle to ask him to visit. Hopefully, he can get here soon. He has been the only person who can keep my dad from spending every second thinking about his condition. They spent 20 plus years apart so they have much to talk about and are alot alike. Has anyone out there felt like my dad or had a loved one feel that way? What can I do to help my dad and make him want to fight and enjoy life?

Depression

by Garland on Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:00 AM

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR GINA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! and God Bless You for being the caregiver for your dad. What would we do without you guys? I know this sounds so simple ,but, hang in there because tomorrow will be a better day. I'm assuming he is on the standard treatment and that is a jolt to ones system that takes awhile to adjust to but it gets better. I went thru the same crap he is going thru and most of us do, we just don't tell it. I know it is hard on you, but he needs a positive "sounding board". it is good that he tells you directly how he feels and doesn't bottle it up. this is a good time to get family around him, love him, respect him and he will see more to live for. break out old family photos and laugh. When people ask if they can do anything, give them something to do. He will see what he means to others. I had neighbors mow the lawn, drive for me, and just help out. You might have to set it up, but don't be embarassed to do it, cause the neighbors will love it and will be blessed. Get him "on-line" where he can "talk" to others who are walking in his shoes and he will love it. Let me know if you want me to, i'll send him and email and tell him how i felt and he will see that he is not alone and we are out here enjoying life. (Oh yes, I forgot, AND MANY MORE!)

Thanks

by Gbmfl on Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:00 AM

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Thank you for the encouraging message. I would like it if you could email him. He doesn't generally like computers but if it was a message from someone dealing with the same thing he is then it would help. Our email is --- Message edited by CancerCompass staff: for personal protection, email address removed. Please review CancerCompass Member Guidelines at http://www.cancercompass.com/common/guidelines.html ---. Also, how is the clinical trial going? I want to get him lined up for something like that. There is one here in Tampa and I am getting in touch with Cedars Mt. Sinai (spelling?) as someone said that was a place to contact. I think it is hard for him now that radiation is over and we don't have to go for treatment every day and also that he has yet to have his first MRI since radiation. Maybe you could talk about some of that stuff with him because I would find that scary and such a change from seven weeks of going to fight every day. It's been a couple weeks since radiation ended and it is like 10 days until our MRI.

Depressed.

by Marmie on Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:00 AM

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So sorry to hear about your dad. My husband also experienced depression in the beginning. I think it is because there is so much negative information when first dx. It is hard to find positive feedback where these tumors are concerned. They told my husband he had 6 months to live. We are now 9 months out and he still has not had any recurrence of tumor. So there is hope. Just try to encourage him to keep the faith, keep the hope, and pray alot. My husband's doctor said one of the most important things is to try to remain positive, mental attitude has alot to do with recovery. I am sure you are doing everything possible to reassure him, and bless you for that. Take care and let us know how he is doing. Patty

Depression

by Garland on Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:00 AM

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caity...the censors cut out your email address and i don't have it....go to www.braintumor.org which is a great website also, and you can leave your email there. i'm sure you will like that website...use depression as your subject and i'll find it...thanx

Depression

by Garland on Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:00 AM

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get him on these websites and talking to these people and he will lov it...we all have so much in common and we all want to help

Depression

by Luvingwife on Tue Sep 20, 2005 12:00 AM

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From what I am learning about this disease, depression is pretty typical. For both the BT patient and the caregiver. Our docs told us right in the beginning that if we did not at times feel depressed, sad, overwhelmed, frightened then THAT would be unexpected. I suggest you tell the doctor who is managing your patient;s care about your dad's behavior. There are meds that can be given to address some of the depression, and there are other meds that can be given for anxiety attacks. We have had both, so I am speaking from experience. Also, the facility or docs office should have an oncology social worker that can help both of you to deal with the tough emotional issues. We have found fabulous support (practical help and encouragement) in our local church. My bt patient was given a grim prognosis of "about one year." It is 16 months since diagx. and he is still going strong, still working, and has very few deficits. Don't assume the worst, each case is unique, and ask for help. Please do it for your dad and for yourself. good luck luving wife
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