End stage before dying of Pancreatic Cancer

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RE: End stage before dying of Pancreatic Cancer

by Gretchenmarie on Wed Aug 17, 2011 07:01 PM

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Rick,

I can totally see your point. While this site is a wonderful way for patients and caregivers to get support, I can see where some of the sharing of pain, suffering and death can be very upsetting to a cancer survivor, fighter.

My husband knows I am on this board, but if he walks by and sees me on it, he walks away. He doesn't want to know. Of course I share what I can with him and it has been a help to both of us.

We caregivers are always cautiously waiting, watching, hungry for any information, insight to what will happen to our loved ones. It's an anxiety we have to live with day to day.

We share these feelings and events to help our fellow cancer fighters out there. Sometimes losing sight of the poor patient. It's like you guys must at times think "Hey, I'm right here!"

Hang in there Rick, I'm sure we all only hope the best for you.

Blessings,

Gretchen

 

RE: End stage before dying of Pancreatic Cancer

by linda53 on Wed Aug 17, 2011 08:24 PM

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Wise and true words, Rick! I totally agree!

Linda

 

RE: End stage before dying of Pancreatic Cancer

by Shatina on Thu Jul 12, 2018 02:14 AM

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Hello Rick,

I know this is 7 years later and you may not ever get this message, but I hope that someone will read it in search of some comfort. 

I want to say thank you. My mom passed on March 15, 2018 (One week after my birthday). I have beaten myself up since that day, angry that I wasnt warned that she was going through the last stage of PC. I kept feeling if I knew, I could've done more or maybe comfort her. She was in so much pain..... I blamed the Dr for not fixing the cause of the pain.

Anyway, reading what you wrote was comforting. I am glad I did not know. I enjoyed my mom's presence. She survived 2 years after diagnosis, so watching her suffer was confusing. 

Not knowing, helped me comfort her. I made her laugh and we talked about funny memories. We even talked about future plans when she gets better. She was so excited. That memory would have never been possible if we was preparing for her death. 

Thank you to all from sharing. Today I am having a moment of sadness, but I have allowed myself to have them. It comes and go, but I keep going and keep everyone around me smiling.

I feel bless to have had such a beautiful mom!

RE: End stage before dying of Pancreatic Cancer

by PunkyD on Thu Jul 12, 2018 06:17 AM

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On Jul 12, 2018 2:14 AM Shatina wrote:

Hello Rick,

I know this is 7 years later and you may not ever get this message, but I hope that someone will read it in search of some comfort. 

I want to say thank you. My mom passed on March 15, 2018 (One week after my birthday). I have beaten myself up since that day, angry that I wasnt warned that she was going through the last stage of PC. I kept feeling if I knew, I could've done more or maybe comfort her. She was in so much pain..... I blamed the Dr for not fixing the cause of the pain.

Anyway, reading what you wrote was comforting. I am glad I did not know. I enjoyed my mom's presence. She survived 2 years after diagnosis, so watching her suffer was confusing. 

Not knowing, helped me comfort her. I made her laugh and we talked about funny memories. We even talked about future plans when she gets better. She was so excited. That memory would have never been possible if we was preparing for her death. 

Thank you to all from sharing. Today I am having a moment of sadness, but I have allowed myself to have them. It comes and go, but I keep going and keep everyone around me smiling.

I feel bless to have had such a beautiful mom!

Dear Shatina,

My sincere condolences on the recent passing of your mom. I'm glad to hear that you are coping well and not blaming yourself. It's good that you let yourself have sad moments, that is totally normal! It is beautiful that you had such nice memories with her and that you could enjoy time with her even at the end. 

I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer 5 years ago. I knew it was the end, and that helped me prepare. I'm not sure that my mom knew, or maybe she was in denial.... I'll never know. I think she didn't want to upset us. In any case, just wanted to let you know that there are people that will read your post. I am also blessed to have had a wonderful mom.

I'm here if you want to talk.

Punky 

RE: End stage before dying of Pancreatic Cancer

by julrid55 on Thu Jul 12, 2018 02:40 PM

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Hi Rick,

I too lost my Mom to PC but it was 26 years ago this month.  I was 37 at the time and traveled 1000 miles to care for her.  My kids were 10 and 8 and it was a huge challenge that the Lord met in so many ways.  We nursed her at their home with hospice coming in.  She had been nursing my Dad with COPD for years and the stress got her at 76.  She didn't do any treatment and was gone in 4 months. 

I am still so glad I could be there to help as I did.  We had lots of good moments.  We did see the end coming due to comas but 3 days before she passed she sat up in bed when I told her in her coma that my kids were coming in (friends kept them for me).  She put on her glasses and spoke to each of them separately.  Then she laid back down and went back into coma a passed 3 days later. 

I had to get my Dad in a group home, do an estate sale, and take care of tons of details.  I came back to see him several times until 9 months after Mom, he passed from pneumonia.  

Now, On 2/22/18, my husband of almost 40 years was diagnosed with Stage IV PC with Mets to liver, lungs, stomach and lymph.  We are both 63 and he just retired in December.  No history, no smoking or drinking ever.  I have been bedridden (mostly) for several years with autoimmune diseases and the stress of that probably contributed.

He has done 6 rounds of 5-FU chemo and could only do it once every 3 weeks due to blood.  CT last week showed no shrinkage but no growth except to one on lung.  So Onc is going to do Gem/Abrx starting tomorrow.  No surgery.

All I know is that the Lord will see us through.  We are alone except for church family.  Our kids won't be able to help due to their own families and long distance. 

Memories are very important....gotta do all we can to make them sweet!

Julie

RE: End stage before dying of Pancreatic Cancer

by tashalex on Thu Jul 12, 2018 02:47 PM

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On Jul 12, 2018 2:14 AM Shatina wrote:

Hello Rick,

I know this is 7 years later and you may not ever get this message, but I hope that someone will read it in search of some comfort. 

I want to say thank you. My mom passed on March 15, 2018 (One week after my birthday). I have beaten myself up since that day, angry that I wasnt warned that she was going through the last stage of PC. I kept feeling if I knew, I could've done more or maybe comfort her. She was in so much pain..... I blamed the Dr for not fixing the cause of the pain.

Anyway, reading what you wrote was comforting. I am glad I did not know. I enjoyed my mom's presence. She survived 2 years after diagnosis, so watching her suffer was confusing. 

Not knowing, helped me comfort her. I made her laugh and we talked about funny memories. We even talked about future plans when she gets better. She was so excited. That memory would have never been possible if we was preparing for her death. 

Thank you to all from sharing. Today I am having a moment of sadness, but I have allowed myself to have them. It comes and go, but I keep going and keep everyone around me smiling.

I feel bless to have had such a beautiful mom!

Hi Shatina,

I am so so sorry for your loss, i know the pain and the ups and downs and questions. My sincere condolences on your loss. its okay to have those days its been over a year and i still have them.

My mom was diagnosed in 2016 - july with colon cancer and she was give 3 months. we were all in shock, and couldnt believe this was happening. this board is what helped me. it helped me prepare for what was coming and speaking to others that are going through or have gone through this helped me a great deal. My mom passed 8 month later in March 2017. it has been so very difficult and i miss her so very much. 

I wanted to know what to expect and what to be prepared for and this forum really helped me. 

Sending you a big hug...hang in there ok?

love tasha

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