Hello - lost my dad..

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Hello - lost my dad..

by Roselvr on Fri Nov 05, 2010 02:30 PM

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I lost my dad back in 2006 to Leukemia. Back then there really were not many cancer forums; I also could not find a decent bereavement forum. A few weeks ago I asked Kelly from Cancer Compass if she would consider a bereavement section - looks like we now have one!

Losing my dad was hard; when I lost my dad I lost everyone. 6 weeks after my dad passed we lost my father in law to brain cancer. We got the phone call that my FIL was having issues after my dads viewing; I was thrown back into a world of cancer; and when my FIL passed; it was like reliving my dads death.

All of the 1st have been hard - my 1st birthday without him which was his next goal to be alive for; then the memory of when he 1st started getting weak; day he was diagnosed - admitted - treatment.. I felt like I would never heal.

It will be 5 years this February. Last year my hub was a month out of treatment for oral cancer; my hub also had his 1st pet scan 2 days before my dads 4th anniversary. My wounds that were finally healing have been ripped open again with my hubs cancer.

Does it get easier? Yes and no. My heart will forever have a hole in it from losing my dad; I'm not the crying mess I once was but still cry.

My life is forever changed. I'm not the same person & I never will be. I hope that this section will comfort those of us that need it.

RE: Hello - lost my dad..

by Daddys_CA on Fri Nov 05, 2010 07:15 PM

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Hello I lost my dad,

I lost my dad too on Sept 18 2010. This has been the most difficult thing I had to go through. He fought Renal Cell Cancer and the Beast took his body, but not his soul or spirit. It was a rough 3 years for us. I lost two dogs to cancer too over the last three years. It is so hard as I hate this Beast!!! We lost our two Grandma to heart problems too, and an uncle to diabities. So you ? does life get better, well yes and no. Our loved one's that passed are no longer in pain. I know we are left here to miss them dearly, but we no longer have to worry about them.

I am so sorry about all your loss and hardship and dealing with what I call the BEAST as that is what it is.

I will pray for your husband and you to have the peace and strentgh to keep going on.

We humans are strong and don't ever hasitate not to get help if needed.

Hang in there and God bless you and your family.

Christie

RE: Hello - lost my dad..

by Trinigirl on Fri Nov 05, 2010 08:02 PM

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I lost my Daddy on Monday October 18, also.  It was the worst day of my life...  It's still pretty fresh.

Daddy I want you to know that I will always love you.

Your loving daughter,

Kathy Jo.

RE: Hello - lost my dad..

by Roselvr on Fri Nov 05, 2010 08:54 PM

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I'm sorry both of you lost your dads too.  Hopefully we can all vent at this new section & help each other.

Daddys CA; we had a few years like that - I lost my ex sister in law & her husband within a few months; then dad got diagnosed; we lost my FIL; MIL was diagnosed with breast cancer; daughter lost a classmate (was 12 at the time) plus a few other people - we lost a total of 12 people.

Kathy Jo; I followed your dads story - found your post about 2 months ago. I'm interested in the Petrolium link to cancer as I've pumped gas all of my life & my dad passed from chemical related Leukemia.

~Hugs

 

 

RE: Hello - lost my dad..

by Daddys_CA on Mon Nov 08, 2010 05:12 PM

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Kathy Jo, wow same day as my dad. As you know today is three weeks and it is getting more and more difficult and I cry more often as each day that passes is another day I don't get to talk to him. I talked to him daily and miss that so much. I miss worring about him. I just miss him. I had two short weird dreams with him in them and that is all I get of him. It stinks big time.

Also I am sorry to the other gal that had all the heartship with all your 12 family members....life is so hard at times. We will never understand the meaning of it until we die I guess and we that are left behind get to deal with the pain and loss. They are in heaven a better place and I am sure that they no longer have the daily worries that we have here on earth.

Hang in there as that is all we can do.

Peace,

Christie

RE: Hello - lost my dad..

by WaynesmyAngel on Thu Nov 11, 2010 06:09 PM

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Hi, just found this section, THANK GOD! I lost my uncle August 29 2010.  He was like a father to me, I took care of him, and was there with him through the first diagnosis in Nov 1996 when he had a tumor in his frontal lobe. He had chemo and radiation and pulled through so strong.

In May of 2010 after his 6 month MRI, they found GMB. His decline went down hill from there. He lost all use of his right side, and pretty much was in the state of a baby. It was like all his life he worked, took care of me and my cousin, and then he was gone.

I have never felt this way, anger, hurt and pain. My family and I dont speak, havent since his funeral. I feel like me and my aunt, my dad and his wife was the only ones who cared. everyone else was worried about what they were getting from him. His daughter didnt help with the planning of the funeral, etc.

Its a hard process no matter what type of cancer, its like a horrible nightmare. I miss him, I love him and nothing I do an take away the pain and its not getting better, it worse! i dont understand at all. Hopefully I can give advise and get it from here and so far its been a blessing!

I will be here for anyone that needs me and I hope that I can get and give support.

Prayers goin up for everyone~

RE: Hello - lost my dad..

by Broken on Fri Nov 12, 2010 02:03 AM

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Hi, was reading a post that made reference to this new site.  August 17, 2010, I lost my husband of 43 years.  He was the love of my life. It's only been 2 1/2 months since his devistating death from oral cancer.  As someone else said, the BEAST totally destroyed him.  He had the cancer, He sufferred, He died.  As each day goes by, my brain just keeps thinking about what we had all our years together, the destruction cancer bestoed on my dear husband.  My memories of everything wonderful are shattered by the horror of this BEAST.  My husband is now whole again, no pain or suffering and I am grateful for that.  I would have much rather his chemotherapy had worked after 3 treatments & he was still here so I could shower him with my continuing love.  Instead, I feel as though I infact am dead myself.  I'm going through the motion of things but I'm really just stuck in time.  It really does seem that as time goes by, it gets worse.  Now the reality has set in & the shock is over.  Yes, I have one grown son & daughter in law & two grandchildren.  When I'm with them, it helps. When I'm back at home, any & everything affects my emotions.  I'm thinking about going to the doctor and getting something to help ease the pain.  What I really need is something to erase all the ugly/horror from my mind.  Something like they did years and years ago to patients in insane institutions - shock the brain to forget everything.  That would work quite well but I'd forget everything I'd want to remember as well.  Oh well, I'm 57, have always been a strong individual that could handle anything,  I know I should be able to deal with this loss, but it seems to be getting the best of me.  When I think about it, I'm not sure I really want to deal with it at all.  I'd then have to admit that he's really gone forever!!!!

This is Broken & I'm signing off for now.

May the Good Lord give us all strength to deal with the things we are faced with in the aftermath of cancer.

 

RE: Hello - lost my dad..

by drien on Wed Jan 12, 2011 07:47 PM

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Hi,

I lost my dad 12/27/2010 to GBM just 54 days after his diagnosis.  I was privileged to be taking care of him (mom was primary) and I have no regrets.  He was a good man, was loved by many, and  a great dad.

I am still kinda numb since his passing, heck it's barely been 2 weeks.  I have shed tears, but I suspect it's gonna hit me hard in a couple of months.

Ruben

 

RE: Hello - lost my dad..

by Maria2712 on Sun Jan 30, 2011 08:28 PM

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I lost my dad in april 15 2010 .

losing my dad was one of my worst days in my life. i know what everyone here felt. but we all know that they are in a better place right now.

God bless you and be with you all

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