Thinking of the last day

5 Posts | Page(s): 1 

Thinking of the last day

by sanjim on Mon Apr 04, 2011 10:46 PM

Quote | Reply

I keep remembering the day that my husband died. Sitting by his side, watching him take his last breathe, holding his hand, kissing him goodbye, telling how much I loved him. After he was gone he looked so peaceful and confortable. I keep going over that moment. The last few weeks he could not get confortable at all, he was in so much pain. Yesterday I realized that the peaceful , confortable look went away, it seems  to me that his look beecame a blank, hollow look. Could it be that his spirit left his body? I know that this sounds crazy. I feel that he is still looking over me. I know he will always be in my heart. I have been looking at photos of us doing things that we loved to do. We collected cars, we sold our collection about 2 years ago, when we knew we could no longer care for them. I know I am rambling on, it does seem to help sharing my memories with someone who truly know what I am going through, I miss himso much, as I know you miss your loved one also. Sandra....

RE: Thinking of the last day

by lolis33 on Tue Apr 05, 2011 01:50 AM

Quote | Reply

No sanjim, you don't sound crazy.  Yes, the few people I've loved and have been around when they die -their humanity leaves- and we are there mourning that while their physical body is present.  Yes, they have died but the liftime of memories we forged with our beloved never leave our heart or minds.  So good to recall the stories shared as you look over your photo's...you aren't rambling at all.  You loved your husband and still do and always will.  My own hope is to see my grandparents and dad in the place where I'll see them with God face-to-face where there will be no sadness, or tears to wipe.  May the peace of God which passes all understanding (mine alot, lol!) touch your life today and the days ahead. Pax!

RE: Thinking of the last day

by REDVETTE on Tue Apr 05, 2011 03:33 AM

Quote | Reply

You are going through very normal feelings; would a support group at your church or somewhere else in town be a possibility for you.   You have been through soooo much!   Hugs and prayers!!

RE: Thinking of the last day

by Lee57 on Thu Apr 07, 2011 11:01 AM

Quote | Reply

You are completely normal from what I have read and have done and am still doing myself. I relive the last few days with my mom as well as the last few months.  It breaks my heart to think of how she suffered.  Throughout everything she went through she remained brave and so strong.  I don't think you are crazy.  It is devastating and I think it takes a long time  for healing.  I wish I could give you more advice.  I'm trying not to ramble myself.  I don't understand why it isn't talked about more often, watching the cancer take over seemed like the symptoms were secret as what to expect and now in grieving we are still left with not knowing what to expect.

RE: Thinking of the last day

by Lee57 on Thu Apr 07, 2011 11:01 AM

Quote | Reply

You are completely normal from what I have read and have done and am still doing myself. I relive the last few days with my mom as well as the last few months.  It breaks my heart to think of how she suffered.  Throughout everything she went through she remained brave and so strong.  I don't think you are crazy.  It is devastating and I think it takes a long time  for healing.  I wish I could give you more advice.  I'm trying not to ramble myself.  I don't understand why it isn't talked about more often, watching the cancer take over seemed like the symptoms were secret as what to expect and now in grieving we are still left with not knowing what to expect.

5 Posts | Page(s): 1 
Subscribe to this message board discussion

Latest Messages

View More

We care about your feedback. Let us know how we can improve your CancerCompass experience.