young adult with career trying to manage mom in advanced colon stage

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young adult with career trying to manage mom in advanced colon stage

by centered83 on Mon Jan 19, 2015 03:17 PM

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Hi, so glad I found this board, I'm sorry I've only found support now. Mom been battling colon cancer since 07, last year it spread to vaginal area and was deemed inoperable. Shes decided recently to use hospice care. She's been in a nursing home and is wheelchair bound. but I'm working on getting home care and an apartment for her ( incredibly difficult). My brother will be living with her. But I'm the one she calls on the most and expects to me to come to nursing home everyday. ITS SO HARD. I know she just wants companionship and someone to pass the time with but I have to work ( full time) and I've been trying to take better care of myself because I've put on 30lbs and have 2-3 drinks every night since we heard the news it was inoperable. My father is passed, other family members rarely help and she has little finanical resources so I end being the one to handle the brunt of the emotional, financial stress. Not to mention a career.  I often feel resentful, then I feel guilty for feeling that, thn I'm angry at everyone not helping, then I'm sad . That's the continuum of emotions every day.  Today I've started some good habits making a to do list and exercising or reading when I want a drink.  Thanks for listening.  

RE: young adult with career trying to manage mom in advanced colon stage

by katesheetz on Mon Mar 02, 2015 05:17 AM

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Hi, I read your page and am so sorry about your Mothers misfortune with her long battle.  I am a caregiver to my husband 24/7.  He was diognosised Dec. 4 with lung cancer that has already spread.  It went to the back of his hip and deteriorated a part of his hip bone so he is bed bound since November. I just wanted to give you a little of my backround with this monster called cancer. Now as a younger women I can only imagine the difficulty you have had to deal with your Mom.  Emotions run wild with cancer and if you don't learn to tame them in they could eat you alive.  You are much to young to turn to drink and wallow. Sounds as though you work full time so your time with your Mom is limited.Instea d of being upset about going to the nursing home every day just embrass it .It sounds as though your Mom is close to the end.  Instead of thinking about your issues try to focus on the process that will soon take place if it hasn't already.  You have the opportuniy to bridge your Mother over to her creator.  Do you need strength,  pray for strength and start reading the book of Proverbs in the Bible.  You will find strength, wisdom, courage, faith, hope and most of all your heart will open up to love.  Love your Mom girly.  Some day your turn will come and I believe we reep what we sew.  Beyond the scolding the truth is when we give is when we receive in life.  Let me leave you with a quote....If you know the author then that will give this deeper meaning but if you don't she is worth looking up.  Blessings and love to you...kate

 I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do- Helen Keller



Read more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/25-awesome-persevera

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