Study finds that most still recommend the breast cancer screen for women in their early 40s
by SpeersMom on Mon Jan 09, 2017 08:04 PM
I am a cancer survivor and am going through something odd! I think that my sister is lying about having terminal cancer. I feel terrible even saying this out loud but am terrified for those around her that are suffering as well. In short, it has been 3+ years now. Many surgeries and treatments, although she has no scars, downtime, IVs or ports of any kind. She won't allow anyone to go to appointments with her and never has, not even to drop off/pick up. In the beginning I thought she was being "private" but she seems to show no signs of this illness. Having gone through it firsthand I know what it looks like and feels like. I know that you can't ride horses immediately after each chemo treatment. I know you can't "skip treatments for weeks because there is a horse show". I know that surgeries cause scars and I, for one, am proud of mine. But why does she wear skimpy clothes and yet I see no marks from any such surgeries/treatments?
The tipping point for me was when she recently had an 86% liver resection. I've not had this but my uncle did. When our parents drove to her home (as a surprise) to bring stuff to her to make her comfortable when she returned, she was there with her friends. She claimed it was outpatient surgery, only took a few hours at the hospital, she had no surgical wounds that needed to be tended to and the Dr's son apparently drove her home. I was baffled and began to question how/why this happened. She claims that the Dr says she is "too sick to stay in the hospital". Too sick to stay in the hospital but not too sick to maintain a normal life, drink alcohol & travel all over for horse shows.
Terminal Cancer for 3+ years now and truly not one sign of it.
How does someone handle this? Especially when you've gone through the pain and fear of it yourself! :( It breaks my heart to see our parents spending so much time and money trying to get her everything she wants, while they devastated at the thought of losing their child.
by WonderWoman1 on Mon Jan 09, 2017 09:22 PM
Wow! This is intense! Im lost for words.
Have you offered her any pshycological help, maybe as a hint to help her trough her "cancer"? Maybe ask her where she is treated, and just show up when she hints for an appointment.
I dont know what to say. Im sorry you went trough your sickness, and sorry she might be putting you and your parents trough this. Maybe this is a cry for help? For something deeper?
by SpeersMom on Mon Jan 09, 2017 10:12 PM
Thank you for your response WonderWoman1. Yes, it is very intense and I fear is going to break my family into pieces.
I have offered "pshycological" and "emotional" support. She always said she was fine and didn't need anything. She's never been one to do everything alone. Private, yes, but has accepted support on other things that she's gone through. I always thought that it was odd that she never went through times of feeling defeated or drained. Now looking back I'm affraid that it makes sense.
Immediately after receiving diagnosis she moved out of our parents and 100 miles away. She claimed it was for a different facility. I know the name of the hospital but when asking for the Dr names, she says it is a "team of drs and she can't recall all the names". She never tells us she's "going" to appointmenst but only tells us she "went". When asked of the next appointment she tells us she doesn't need anyone to go with her and that's that.
I really don't know why she's ddoing this but have to assume it's attention. But why put the family through something so terrible. I'm not sure things will ever be the same, regardless of the outcome!
by bobss396 on Thu Feb 02, 2017 06:34 PM
My brother's wife did something similar. This was around 1998 and I found out by accident. Someone she knew online was told that she had had breast cancer and chronicled her care and treatment on the chats they frequented.
I ran into this person at an event and she was telling how brave my SIL was with her cancer. I was like... she never had any cancer! This person maintained that she did and could not be swayed.
My SIL is a very mentally ill person. She manages to be hospitalized for dangerous infections that I believe she inflicts on herself, just for the attention. I believe that she has made both of my nephews sick now and then when they were little. The older one won't have anything to do with her.
So it seems that you are going through something similar. What position does the rest of the family take on the behavior?
by Chucksan on Thu Feb 23, 2017 10:32 AM
Sorry, but it appears your sister has a serious mental illness. I would recommend making an appointment for you and your parents only with a psychiatrist, perhaps your family doctor might set this up for you. Devulge all her sympotms and hopefully the doctor will confirm she is ill. The doctor might have some suggestions on how to get her professional help.
Best of Luck
PS: She doesn't seem to be even seeing a doctor so she probably doesn't have Muchausen syndrome, rather "faking illness for attention disorder."
by Chucksan on Thu Feb 23, 2017 10:35 AM
Sorry, try this link or search "faking illness for attention disorder."
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