How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

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RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by Ahole on Thu Apr 20, 2017 03:09 PM

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We had a strange phone call from the doctor that didn't exactly set my mind at ease.....

Lung tumor has grown a little bit. Other tumors have "not increased much." Are the new ones cancer? "I don't know." Should we radiate? "Not unless they are painful." (Of course they're not painful. I'm married to John Wayne.)

Phone calls suck. I couldn't even tell if we were talking about the same lumps. We go back May 8th for Restaging. Maybe it will make more sense then.

The main thing is, my husband feels good today. He said he will take this call as good news. His good news is Ahelpingheart's good news. I'm off to plant seeds.....

Caregiver love!

Peppermint Patty

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by CaregiverPete on Fri Apr 21, 2017 09:35 AM

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Hi John 

I'm Pete 

It's very nice to meet you.  Your wife is a fearless fighter to battle her cancer so many times. She has so much to live for being a wife and mother.

Every minute of the day I wasn't caregiving to my wife with breast and lung cancer I was also researching her cancer and treatments.

It's always good to hear that people get second opinions. I hope the best for you and your wife. 

Be well John. 

Pete....

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by CaregiverPete on Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:24 AM

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Hi Peppermint 

Thank you for giving us an update.  

You are!... married to John Wayne. 

Remember though.... your pretty tough too Patty. John Wayne's female equal would definitely be  Maureen O’Hara .

Stay strong PP. May 8th is circled on my calendar. 

Caregiver love Peppermint. 

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by Ahole on Fri Apr 21, 2017 04:43 PM

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John,

Your story, while heart-wrenching, is very inspirational to me. I can feel the strength in your resolve to stick by your lady-love no matter what.

The words that jumped out at me most were, "I know I can keep it together." I feel the same way, but I have all the same questions you have. There is no guidebook for caregiving; not really, though lots of good-intentioned people have tried.  Each of our stories are different, while being the same in the sense that we WAIT and we HOPE and we have no idea what will happen next.

Keep the faith, John, and keep in touch. We are all in this together. - Caregiver Love, Peppermint Patty

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by Ahole on Fri Apr 21, 2017 05:04 PM

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I take refuge in this little Caregiver Island too, Pete. Here take this coconut drink......I'm not telling you what's in it, but you'll like it! LOL

I love that you have your father's heart and your mother's determination. With genes like those, you can always stand strong. It's funny you equated me to Maureen O'Hara. My Mama had flaming red hair just like hers in her youth. She was of Scotish decent, and my dad was Apache. It made for hard-headed unruly daughters, but passionate and very strong!

I haven't laid any sod, but I did get some lettuce, kale and herbs planted. More to come, but it's a good start.

Enjoy your coconut. Here's a toast to your wife and my "Duke," for a good weekend. Till later......PP

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by CaregiverPete on Sat Apr 22, 2017 10:48 AM

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Patty you made me an awesome Luau Coconut Drink. Very tasty and refreshing. I could even taste  a little hint of Peppermint in there too..lol...Great way to start the weekend. 

I'm glad you have crops planted and more to follow. 

Best weekend to you, P Patty and the Duke.

Other caregivers and their fighters ....

Kpete , Tfruman, Mickie , Helen, Sandra , Punky, wagthecaregiver John,  WT Carolyn,  Terra, Wife of Michael, Sharin, Eternalife......have a peaceful and enjoyable weekend. 

Stay battle strong Helen we're all pulling for you.

Caregiver love always....Pete 

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by wagthecaregiver on Sun Apr 23, 2017 04:26 AM

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On Apr 21, 2017 9:35 AM CaregiverPete wrote:

Hi John 

I'm Pete 

It's very nice to meet you.  Your wife is a fearless fighter to battle her cancer so many times. She has so much to live for being a wife and mother.

Every minute of the day I wasn't caregiving to my wife with breast and lung cancer I was also researching her cancer and treatments.

It's always good to hear that people get second opinions. I hope the best for you and your wife. 

Be well John. 

Pete....

Thanks Pete. It's nice to know there's others out there who are going thru or have been thru the same thing.

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by wagthecaregiver on Sun Apr 23, 2017 04:39 AM

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On Apr 21, 2017 4:43 PM Ahole wrote:

John,

Your story, while heart-wrenching, is very inspirational to me. I can feel the strength in your resolve to stick by your lady-love no matter what.

The words that jumped out at me most were, "I know I can keep it together." I feel the same way, but I have all the same questions you have. There is no guidebook for caregiving; not really, though lots of good-intentioned people have tried.  Each of our stories are different, while being the same in the sense that we WAIT and we HOPE and we have no idea what will happen next.

Keep the faith, John, and keep in touch. We are all in this together. - Caregiver Love, Peppermint Patty

Thank you for the kind words Peppermint Patty. What I've learned through all this is that there is no right or wrong way to handle this situation. But for me to keep my focus on God and my wife has helped me to deal with this so far. I pray with my wife every day for God's healing hands on her and everyone that is going through this. So thank you for replying to my story. We are finally heading to Cancer Centers of America in Zion, Illinois on Monday til Thursday. Hope we get some new and good news. I will post again after we meet with her team. God Bless and I hope you stay strong.  Thanks, John.

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by tippymicky504 on Thu Apr 27, 2017 01:52 AM

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On Feb 21, 2017 10:34 AM CaregiverPete wrote:

I'm Pete. 
Caregiver to my wife. 
This topic I started is all about caregivers. These are posts about our daily dose of encouraging hope and the unpromising challenges we go through to care for family members and friends. 

Caregivers need support during all stages of cancer. Support for caregivers is sometimes needed to continue even after cancer is gone in one form or another. Let's support each other during these times that change our minds and our lives forever.

Together lets try to heal that small part of us that won't return. We just need to find that person inside us that we're comfortable with, that comes close to who we once were before our lives were turned upside down. 
Caregivers please say or shout what you need to here. This is your place. Tell a pleasant uplifting story or vent your painful frustrations or sorrows.
Be well for today.
Peace to all of you for tomorrow.
 
I'm Marge and caregiver to my husband. We are senior citizens who met on line 4 years ago. We've been married 3 years. We knew we'd never have a 25th Anniversary, but we thought we would have more than this. He was diagnosed in December last year, stage 4 lung cancer, metastasized to the lower spine and pelvis. He is currently in hospice at home. I get help from the agency I'm using. Aides come to wash him, nurses come to check on him, a chaplain comes to sit with me and let me talk. Some of his grown kids come. They sit with him while I do errands on rare occasions. But I'm here sitting next to his hospital bed all day. I've never watched someone slipping away before. It's very depressing, and I'm physically and emotionally tired. But, he's the one with the cancwOne thing

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by tippymicky504 on Thu Apr 27, 2017 01:59 AM

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On Feb 21, 2017 11:08 AM CaregiverPete wrote:

January this year. My wife and I went to Mexico to take a vacation from 2 years and 3 months of breast and lung cancer Hell. When she had her swim suit on I noticed a lump the size of a penny just above her implant from the mastectomy. I was alarmed.  Talk about tension when your on vacation. 

Three days after coming home we saw the reconstruction surgeon. The Dr blew it off, he said looks like scar tissue,  nothing to be concerned about.  "I'm concerned "

We saw the mastectomy surgeon and she wasn't sure what it was. She said we could do a Ultrasound if you want.

My wife didn't look concerned or urgent to get the ultrasound. I started to see red, I said, "I want the ultrasound!" 

Am I the only one freaking out. I guess so. So today 2-21-17 we are getting the ultrasound.  Fingers crossed. I'm really looking forward to it being nothing. 

I just started on here today. I hope everything is ok. Your post is from a while ago.
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