How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

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RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by Wastingtime on Mon Jun 11, 2018 06:16 PM

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Dear Pete, I want you to put a pen to paper and write out your thoughts, your marriage was/is a love story !!! You are alone as you say , her spirit will always be close ,,,,allow her spirit to help you write a story of your life with misty and of course " the girls" , smile...... You know authors are loners and for a reason . Some of your best , lived alone with their animals !!!! We know you can write and you do quite well . They even have writing clubs and such . Put all that pain to good use my friend ...... I am an avid reader , many many people write about their one of a kind , hard to find , loves of their life !!!! Yes you can breath , you only wish you would stop !!!!! Continue counseling, that helps , but get around some good energy and put one foot in front of the other ,,,,,,dig deep Pete , I am here if you need me . What a beautiful bunch of people you have on this thread , all their post were very touching, I could feel their suffering along with you , everyone is pulling for you Pete , this is now your time , to take care of you and begin the healing process . Remember you are " exhausted " at this point . You must try and rest also .,,,,,and you may need meds just to help you for a short time .. Much love, Carolyn

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by Ray725 on Mon Jun 11, 2018 06:19 PM

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Patty, it so lifted me when you spoke about scattering The Dukes ashes and having such a good day.  Its a year on the 30th of this month and I am thinking of spreading Helen's ashes and what you talk about the "ritual of letting go", I need to do that but right at this time not sure that I can, but your experience has given me some hope that I can move foreward - thanks Patty, love.  Ray

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by Ahole on Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:57 PM

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Ray, I'm so glad my story lifted you. I wasn't sure about scattering the ashes either. In fact, I cried myself to sleep the night before and was afraid I couldn't do it. I think it was the kids who buoyed me up and made me feel like it was the right thing to do, at the right time and place. The peaceful feeling I experienced in the aftermath was indescribable. I had always heard of "closure," but not sure I believed it really existed. Now I understand. It's like crossing an emotional threshhold into a place where I feel more settled inside. I wish you all good things, My Friend. - Love, Patty

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by tippymicky504 on Wed Jun 13, 2018 01:10 AM

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PP, I’m always so impressed by you. I’m glad the day was helpful for you. What a wonderful way to carry out Duke’s wishes. Symbolically it’s both sad and joyous. Stay strong Warrior Woman. Hugs, Marge

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by Ahole on Wed Jun 13, 2018 03:43 AM

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Oh Marge, I love it when you call me Warrior Woman!  You make me feel like I can do anything. Yes, saying the final goodbye to the Duke was bittersweet, but I did feel good that all his wishes were carried out. Say, aren't you just about at the one-year anniversary of Don's passing? How are you doing these days? I just hate that our Pete lost his lady-love. So many of us left behind. God help us all. Love, Patty

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by Ray725 on Wed Jun 13, 2018 03:11 PM

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Patty, I assume that the new profile picture is Don's favourite fishing spot.  I was going to say how beautiful but that word is not enough, its Magnicient!!! What a great place.  Ray

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by Ahole on Wed Jun 13, 2018 03:27 PM

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Yes, Ray, that is the Duke's fishing hole. ( I know you know that Don is Marge's husband) :) This point in the Colorado River will be a special place of contact forevermore. It's especially important to the oldest son who passes by there every day on his way to work. I imagine he will spend many heartfelt moments sitting on a rock talking to his Dad.  Yes, "magnificient" is a perfect description! - Patty

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by Ray725 on Wed Jun 13, 2018 03:33 PM

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Sorry Patty - of course the Duke - apologies!!!!!

Ray

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by Ahole on Wed Jun 13, 2018 03:35 PM

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No worries, My Friend. You are still a stellar guy in my book. :)  It's not easy to keep all the names straight.

RE: How are you coping with caregiving? Open ongoing thoughts.

by tippymicky504 on Wed Jun 13, 2018 05:04 PM

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PP, You ARE a Warrior Woman. Never forget that. It was a year May 15th. Sometimes it feels like only days ago, and sometimes it feels like years. It’s still sad, I still get angry that he was taken from me, I still feel lonely. But, thats all been somewhat buffered by time. The edges aren’t so raw anymore. I’ve been purging stuff around the house, and gave a lot of Don’s tools to the young man that cuts my grass. He was so excited to get them, and I feel like it was the right thing to do. It is sad about Misty. I was always praying for a miracle for them as I have for every one of us. Acceptance is key. You gave me an idea when you went red. Bought some pink dye and I’m channeling my wild child. Gonna put a streak in this white hair again. It will match my pink sneakers! Yes, so many left behind, but not alone. We’ve come a long way. Love and hugs. Marge
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