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Ahole's Recent CancerCompass Activity

  • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

    Marge, you're absolutely right. Nothing we can do about the future. Today is all we're promised. I'm sure the celebration will be fine, and I'll be in much better shape by then to deal with it by June. I always heard that its awful to lose someone right before the holidays, but I have to say I'm kind of relieved to have the activity. I suspect the hard part will be when it's over and we have the rest of winter to ge...

    November 17 at 3:32 PM view post
    • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

      Hi, Pete! It's so good to see how you are handling everything. Those ups and downs are inevitable, but you're not letting them keep you down. I found that relatives were far more difficult, and caused more stress than caring for the Duke ever did. People react in their own unique way to the threat of cancer, and many onlookers make it about themselves. Rowing in the opposite direction is a good strategy, and sharing...

      November 17 at 3:24 PM view post
      • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

        I'm not having a great day either, Ray. My step kids are going full speed ahead with plans for the Duke's, "Celebration of Life."  They have picked a beautiful resort on the river complete with "a nice little beach to scatter the ashes." It's been seven weeks since I lost my husband. I'm not ready to hear people refer to him as "the ashes."  I know that's the reality of it, but I feel like I need more time...

        November 12 at 11:02 PM view post
        • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

          Pete, that's not your heart telling you that you're too far gone. That's just that little voice of doubt that we all have. Listen to your CC friends, instead. We know you are doing great and you are going to be okay. Kudos on the running. That's a super-good way to feel better.  Caregiver Love, Peppermint

          November 07 at 2:37 PM view post
          • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

            Beautiful photo, Ray, and so many wonderful years together. It's so sad that all good things must end. I guess that's what makes them super-precious. Hang in there, Friend. - PP

            November 02 at 11:35 PM view post
            • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

              Marge, your two cents worth is usually spot on, and I know your thoughts help a lot of people. Glad to hear you are wearing red and trudging on.  My color is plum, not to be confused with purple, and I have searched to the ends of the Earth to find blum rugs for my bathroom. Voila' I found them yesterday. Thank you BB&B! Too cold to plant trees, but I have had some fence repair due to horrendous wind tearin...

              November 02 at 4:11 PM view post
              • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

                Hi, Marge, you sound good. I think about you every day and wonder how you're doing. Lisa, I love how upbeat you sound today. Sometimes just a teensy message can make a huge difference. Way to go, Gregg! Keep being sweet!  Send some sunshine my way, okay? I woke up to snow. Pete, I'm glad you are finding hope in other stories. Yes, there are people out there who have survived Stage 4 for many years, and they ar...

                November 02 at 2:25 PM view post
                • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

                  Pete, that's so touching and I know the poem and the presentation will be absolutely beautiful. You are such a thoughtful man. You have come such a long way, My Friend, from freaking out (don't we all!) to finding ways to channel those powerful emotions into something artful and healing. This is a highly-charged journey and it can send you reeling until you land on ways to manage it. Kudos, Pete. You have done so we...

                  November 01 at 2:05 PM view post
                  • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

                    Gigi, your story is such a heartbreaking one, and I suspect it's not all that rare. Cancer itself, and all those meds do strange things to the human mind.  I don't know what your cancer center is like, but ours had other services besides the oncology. They had a variety of groups for patients and caregivers AND they had a social worker available. I would start there and ask what is available. You need somebody o...

                    October 29 at 3:17 PM view post
                    • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

                      Marge, oh my gosh I think Don and the Duke were cut from the same cloth. LOL  TV.....all the time, TV.  And I can go out and sit in his truck and talk radio blasts me, or a baseball game! I have listened to a ton of music since the Duke left, and I can't watch the same shows we used to watch at all. I will turn on Fixer Upper just to hear happy people talk while I do something else. Losing a partner change...

                      October 28 at 6:09 PM view post
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                      About Ahole

                      Caregiver
                      Head and Neck Cancer
                      Emotional Support, Lifestyle

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