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Ahole's Recent CancerCompass Activity

  • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

    Warrior Woman is ready to puke on her shoes tonight. The Duke has declined drastically over the last couple of days, and I am hanging by my fingernails. His family is on the way and nobody better look at me sideways. Prayers welcome! - PP

    Wednesday at 2:51 AM view post
    • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

      It will be okay, Ray.  This is your boy.....the fruit of your loins, and the best part of you and Helen combined. Just say no to the petty dramas and love your son. If all else fails, sit down and play with the little kids like I do. They make more sense than adults.  Sending good thoughts - PP

      Tuesday at 4:17 PM view post
      • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

        Mickie, it's good to see you here. I'm doing okay as I try to keep my head on straight, and just be helpful as the Duke gets weaker every day. You have been dealing with cancer such a long time, and I admire your ability to stay strong and keep going. You're right about the emotions. They are so strong, and don't always make sense. We just have to be kind to ourselves and each other and keep putting one foot in front...

        September 18 at 2:37 AM view post
        • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

          Shelley, I think we all become 'mothers' when our men get sick. It's just that caring instinct that kicks in. No, not everyone understands that your life has been turned upside down right now. I sure didn't understand until my husband got sick. The thing is, you find out you have lots of strength that you didn't know you had as time goes by. I'm a need to know person too. I research everything and keep very good not...

          September 17 at 1:35 PM view post
          • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

            Marge, do you still have that sweet note from Don? That's what I really cherish....little heartfelt things. I have emails and greeting cards that mean the world to me. The kids can have his desk and chair....his favorite art. I'm not that attached to things. Things aren't people. As long as my heart beats, the Duke will be in my heart. I think he wants the hospital bed so he won't wake me up when he coughs. Fat chan...

            September 17 at 1:29 PM view post
            • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

              Marge, things are beginning to accelerate now and I'm just trying to hang onto my hat. The Duke even told me today that he thinks he's ready for a hospital bed. It's just getting too hard for him to do anything. He's wearing oxygen 24/7, and still fighting for each breath. Yes, his morphine is the sublingual, fast-acting kind. Such a relief. Having hospice is a blessing and a curse. They are so great, but the curse ...

              September 17 at 1:48 AM view post
              • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

                Marge, the Duke asked for morphine this morning. This is the man who wouldn't take an aspirin if he had a headache.  He told me, "I think this is going faster than I thought."  Then he said, "maybe 2 months instead of 6."  Still a bit of denial there.....I suspect we are much closer. Yes journaling helps a bit. I don't think I will ever want to read it though.  Hope your weekend is peaceful. - PP

                September 16 at 7:39 PM view post
                • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

                  Ray, that is upsetting. When we are part of a couple we each have our role and that's what makes it nice. Nobody has to do everything.....until you lose your partner. I've been thinking about this a lot and the Duke keeps apologizing for all the extra things I have to do now that he is so weak. I hope you are doing good things for yourself and having a bit of fun now and then. Do you have a pet? I don't know what I'...

                  September 16 at 5:14 PM view post
                  • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

                    Oh Marge, isn't that just such a relief about Lisa being okay?  It's like this is our little family, and yet if anything happens to any one of us, we might never know!  Crazy! How are you feeling?  How is your pooch? My Bella is sullen and sad. She's having strangers in her house and can't be in the middle of things.  I'd like to trade her places. I wish someone would lock me in the kitchen behin...

                    September 14 at 2:26 PM view post
                    • Ahole has replied to a post on the message board

                      Punky, thanks for your sweet thoughts. I feel like I'm hanging by my fingernails. Yes, we are having some "moments," where he says things like, "I hope you know how much I appreciate all you do for me," or "I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you." Yes, INTENSE is so spot-on.....and so bittersweet, all of it. I keep telling myself to remember every moment. Don't forget this, I tell myself. This time is too importan...

                      September 14 at 2:18 PM view post
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                      About Ahole

                      Caregiver
                      Head and Neck Cancer
                      Emotional Support, Lifestyle

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