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Josii's Message Board Messages

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My Aunt

by Josii - August 23, 2017

Caretaking always seems so cut and dry when people talk about it.  They don't mention that being a caregiver for your family leaves your heart bleeding once they're gone.  My Auntie passed away on June 10 after a two year fight with stage IV colon cancer that had passed to her liver and her lungs.  Two months later and I'm still grieving. 

Two months later and I still have to stop myself from going to the bedroom to check on her.  I don't know what to do.  I don't even know what to think sometimes.  Sometimes it seems as though because I was her caregiver that it somehow made me a grief counselor too and I just want to hide. 

I want to hide somewhere quiet where I can be alone and just scream.  Scream because I'm still angry that she's not here.  That she won't be here to see me married or to hold my first baby.  Mostly... Mostly I just miss her so much.

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