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Ray725's Recent CancerCompass Activity

  • Ray725 has replied to a post on the message board

    Funny about that name Marge, my mother-in-law (Helens mother) best friend and neighbour is Marge.  She is a bit cantankorous (is that a word!) but since Helen passed she has been such a wonderful support to Helens mum - thank god for Marge's. Think I am going a little bit mad - just got in a bit of a tizz because I could not find the TV remote (got really obsessed), but it had just fallen face down and I could'n...

    Yesterday at 9:33 PM view post
    • Ray725 has replied to a post on the message board

      Hi Marge, had my son David down this evening, we went for a drink and a curry and feel a little more, I don't know, relaxed? He listened to me which was good.  Every thing you say I relate to, frozen to the chair, loud music, although with me it is more perhaps shouting.  Hope I can sleep a bit better tonight but its another step on the road.  Hope the cataract surgery goes well and wishing you all the...

      Monday at 10:04 PM view post
      • Ray725 has replied to a post on the message board

        Its coming up 4 weeks since Helen passed away and its now really hitting home that she is not coming back.  Life is so hard at present, since last Saturday I cannot think of anything but Helen and it feels like my heart has been ripped out of my body.  I know, or at least hope, that the pain may ease eventually, or I will get used to it but that seems a long way off at the moment.  

        Monday at 12:52 PM view post
        • Ray725 has replied to a post on the message board

          Lisa, Marge I don't think that hurt can be measured in years, Helen and I had 50 years but I loved her as much,probably more, in the last year as the in first year so the intervening years were just as good as the first and last.  Love is as you find it not as anyone else thinks its should be so don't measure your time together as years but as the contact you had with each other. Ray

          July 22 at 7:21 PM view post
          • Ray725 has replied to a post on the message board

            Gosh Lisa you are hurting so bad.  Having been through this I should have words to help but I don't. It is so hard. I constantly say my brave Helen, but a really good good friend of mine Alan Ross had a quadruple heart by pass and 12 months later he was taken with pancreatic cancer and he struggled right up to the final hours, men women they are all fighters when they have loved ones by their side.  I have ...

            July 21 at 9:36 PM view post
            • Ray725 has replied to a post on the message board

              On Wednesday a womens catelogue arrived for Helen. I phoned up the company to cancel Helens account.  A young lad answered the phone and he was so kind and considerate I could not get it out of head.  Yesterday I emailed the company just to express my thanks for the way my phone call was handled, have just received this reply "Thank you ever so much for these kind comments as it was me (Ben) who spoken to ...

              July 21 at 2:07 PM view post
              • Ray725 has replied to a post on the message board

                Its really strange all these different vibrations we feel.  Talking to different people who have lost loved ones most say that the night times are the most difficult.  I personally have found the evenings ok, I think of it has just me and Helen together and I like that.  However I have had had the help of some sleeping support over the past 12 days (just 2 days left!!) but before I drift off I am more,...

                July 20 at 9:46 PM view post
                • Ray725 has replied to a post on the message board

                  Something strange happened yesterday and I can't explain it. I have a number of photos of Helen in the lounge and all bar one was giving me pleasure and comfort. But one was giving me such a huge pain of loss  whenever I looked at it that I have had to put it away. That has made me feel so guilty but the guilt is easier to deal with than the pain. Ray

                  July 20 at 8:26 AM view post
                  • Ray725 has replied to a post on the message board

                    ""I am standing upon the seashore.  A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.  She is an object of beauty and strength, and I stand and watch her until she hangs like a speck of white cloud, just where the sea and sky comes down to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says, "There, she's gone!". Gone where? Gone from my sight that's all. She is...

                    July 19 at 9:27 PM view post
                    • Ray725 has replied to a post on the message board

                      Another evening in the ER, another day in the hospital, seems a familiar tune, makes me ache for you PP.

                      July 19 at 3:24 PM view post
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