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sandy26's Recent CancerCompass Activity

  • sandy26 has replied to a post on the message board

    enternalife, thanks, I still have a big hole in my heart and part of me (the good part) died when my husband died - but I am trying to move forward to make him proud... but it is not easy. take care of yourself. sandy

    February 06, 2017 view post
    • sandy26 has replied to a post on the message board

      Stan,  sounds like you've been down for awhile. I hope you are back on the mend. I too, had a set back. I had bad lower back pain that started last September so I went in and got a acortisone injection in my lower back for the horrible sciatic nerve pain. Well, the shot did not work and I was in such pain I could not go or do anything, it was wearing me down fast and yes the pain was so intense I did not g...

      February 06, 2017 view post
      • sandy26 has replied to a post on the message board

        Dear zpittS4400, I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is not easy. You will figure out the signs for your husband. I don't know how I did it but every time my husband's condition would change I knew - it was like a gut feeling. All I can say is hug him and kiss him and talk about all the good times. I remember I prayed for a miracle every day but it never happened. If his tumors are shrinking maybe&n...

        January 05, 2017 view post
        • sandy26 has replied to a post on the message board

          what I have learned over the past year is when my husband died he said - Sandy you are still young you will need to start a whole new life. and I said don't worry about that I do not want to think about that...but, now I have to think about it and I am making my husband proud and starting a new life. It's lonely without him and I miss and still cry every day for him. But I have caught up with old friends and been tra...

          January 05, 2017 view post
          • sandy26 has replied to a post on the message board

            Dear shaqs, I too, lost my husband one year ago on 12/23. It was a hard day and has been a rough year. I too, feel like I have been in a fog most of the time. My husband had lung cancer and only lived for 5 months with it. I took care of him every day and watched him melt away and it was the most painful thing ever. I know he is always with me. I get really good signs from him all the time. We were together for 40 ye...

            January 05, 2017 view post
            • sandy26 has replied to a post on the message board

              Dear Mieczy, Thanks for the support and great advice.  I thought at one time about seeking counsling but decided I don't need it. I will be okay and pull through...as you know the first year is the hardest. I am a strong person and my dad and husband were strong men and they both taught me to be strong. I am busy and take my grandkids two days a week so that helps. They are my little an...

              September 24, 2016 view post
              • sandy26 has replied to a post on the message board

                My husband has been gone 9 months today and I thought I was doing better - then it's like all these memories flood back in to my head. My life just seems like I'm in a fog. I try and have fun. I've been on vacation to Alaska to meet up with some childhood friends, I had not seen them in 40 years. So that was a good time... but in the end...that's it. You go back home and it's lonely and sad. ...

                September 23, 2016 view post
                • sandy26 has replied to a post on the message board

                  Stan, SO TRUE!! some day will be with them again and I can't wait. I also agree the whole family is greiving and it's so sad to see. Like my son always says - "We were cheated in Life"  So true. My grandson is really missing his grandpa and that really hurts. He is only 4 and 1/2 and when I got back from Alaska he asked me if I had fun and I said it was beautiful up there and he thought I went to heaven to v...

                  August 07, 2016 view post
                  • sandy26 has replied to a post on the message board

                    Stan, I too, believe in God but when I hear people say to me...God has a plan for you. Well, so far I am not very happy with his plan. I've lost my dad, best friend, husband and now my mom has dementia and needs help and I am an only child. So, what's the plan? and I am only 60. Guess the plan is I am a caregiver forever or I really messed up in life somewhere along the way and I am being punished...because that's&nb...

                    August 07, 2016 view post
                    • sandy26 has replied to a post on the message board

                      Fredward, This life without our better half really does SUCK. My husband had been gone for 6 months today and all I think about is in 6 more months it will be a year and I hate this "NEW LIFE". I cry everday for him. Somedays I feel like how can I make it. But I know my husband would never want me to sit here and cry every day. BUt that too is hard to do because moving on without him is hard. I just want my old...

                      June 23, 2016 view post
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                      About sandy26

                      Caregiver
                      Bile Duct Cancer, Lung Cancer - Non-Small Cell
                      Clinical Trials and Research, Emotional Support, Side Effects

                      My dad died from Cholangiocarcinoma, also known as Bile Duct Cancer in 2009. My BFF died in 2013 from lung cancer. Now my husband of 39 years died from lung cancer on 12/23/2015. I hate cancer and they will never find a cure and I am sorry if you do not agree with me. I do believe in miracles and hope but when it comes to cancer I have never seen good results...so maybe that is why I am so down on cancer - it has wreaked my life forever. I have lived it and seen it to many times. I wish the best for all of you who are fighting cancer - the will to live is strong and I hope you make it. As a caregiver - it is the hardest thing you'll ever do. You have to watch your love ones suffer and help them die peacefully. I have done this 3 times and I would do it again if someone I love and know is suffering from cancer. Love to all. May your journey be special and I pray God will guide you through these difficult times.

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