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sickntired's Message Board Messages

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Treatment or Not

by sickntired - December 03 at 10:39 PM

Has anyone ever asked themselves this question?  Were you alone in your decision making? How did you finally decide? 

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About sickntired

Caregiver, Patient, Survivor
Melanoma, Other Cancer
After Treatment, Alternative Treatments, Cancer Diagnosis, Cancer Nutrition, Cancer Treatments, Chemotherapy, Clinical Trials and Research, Conventional Treatments, Diet, Emotional Support, Lifestyle, Naturopathic Medicine, Radiation, Recipes, Side Effects, Spiritual Support, Supplements, Surgery

I'm a 52 yo guy with stage 4 metastatic melanoma in the Lungs. I was first diagnosed in 2006 with a small mole on my back that had bled from scratching at night. I never saw it coming. Since that original DX, I have had several wide excisions and SLN biopsy procedures. I've also had multiple removals of dysplastic nevi, a lymphectomy (13) of the left axilla and so many scares from PET imaging showing possible cancer cell activity that were eventually ruled out. Now,(actually in August of 2017) a fine needle aspiration biopsy confirmed metastasis in the lungs. As a man, I'm embarrassed to say I am terrified of my treatment options, more than I ever was of the numerous surgeries. As a human being, I need to tell others about my fear. I've never married, live alone and the only family member near me and who is in communication with me has backed away almost completely. I'm terribly depressed, confused, alone and afraid. Earlier in my life I was a US Navy Petty Officer Second Class with a promising career. Now, I don't even recognize myself when I look in the mirror. I'm not even sure if I want to try and seek treatment that MAY save my Life.

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